In it for the Short Haul

In the course of taking a lovely vacation, I was forced to utilize the great American airplane system. Like many other systems dependent on oil and a captive clientele, the airlines have famously cut back on the amenities of the past. Gone are the days of free checked bags; of free meals (no matter how disgusting, free is free); the times when someone’s seat back isn’t hitting your face in the middle of the flight.

Now, I’ve been on a lot of planes in my life. I’m blessed with a slight figure, small stature, and disproportionately short legs. Problems that taller or larger people face aren’t actually that big of an issue for me. Yes, paying for a checked bag is painful, but it is better than the overhead compartments.

Short haul flights, however, are a bit much. Okay, maybe it makes better business sense: smaller planes, less fuel burn, less cost in housing pilots and flight attendants three thousand miles from home. It might even be forcing those pilots to stay awake for the flights, since there’s less down time.

But my flight home was changed from having one stop, which would have been reasonable, to having two, which turned out to mean fourteen hours of travel. Airports are draining places; there’s the neon lights, the rush to meet a plane that is on the other side of crowded airport, the inexplicable people who refuse to use the stairs: it’s exhausting. Hitting up four in one day might be torture. If the CIA started sending people on short haul flights, a Senate committee would have to be called up to determine the legality.

Of course, I made it home. I made all those tight connections and I rushed my way through the crowds and the moving walkways because I didn’t have a choice. They changed my flight after I bought it. That was going to be my only way back. I didn’t have a choice about it and that bothers me as much as the actual flights did. Capitalism is supposed to be all about choice between competing companies. The airlines are allowed to change as much as they want, because once someone decides to take a plane, there’s not much we can do about how those trips are going to go. It seems to me that this short haul plane system also is indicative of how the airlines think of their passengers: for the immediate future, we have to put up with them. The long-term customer service plan seems as non-existent as the non-stop flight.

I have a plan. I’d like to invite the major executives of major airlines to take a trip from Honolulu to New York, travelling only on their short haul flight plans, and thus hitting up all the major hubs. I’ll take care of their itinerary. For the majority of their flights, they can have an hour--on paper. With the traditional hold-ups at Atlanta and Chicago, this is more like ten minutes. Then they can have a random eight hour layover. They’ll all have to wear matching neon shirts reading “Family Reunion 2015!!” and all have heavy carry-ons. Maybe it wouldn’t end up changing their policies--airlines generally think with their wallets and not with empathy--but it’d make me feel better.

Crossposted: Readers' Books Facebook