I have come to terms with the fact that I come across as a very sweet, helpful, kind person. I hold open doors for people, I help carry bags, I put change in meters. I have round cheeks and dimples and am soft-spoken. I dress like Nancy Drew. In regular, private life, people call me by endearments on a regular basis. I don't go a week without someone--some stranger--calling me "sweetie", "dear", or "honey". Despite what I might think, I may actually just be a nice person, and, in the end, those people who chose to give me names usually reserved to their nearest and dearest are probably paying me a compliment.
But I want to talk about why this practice is not okay when it occurs at my work. Yes, I am in retail. Yes, I am very helpful and knowledgeable and friendly. Yes, I am the youngest staff member. That does not make it okay to call me "dear" or to pat me on the shoulder. That does not make it okay to call me "sweetie" when I give you your change. I'm a professional, doing my job. It might not look like a particularly difficult or glamorous job--"You work in a book shop? You must get to read all the time!"--but, like all things, it is more complex than it looks. I deserve your respect, just as much as you deserve mine. I may be at your service, but I am not your servant.
Maybe this sounds harsh, especially since I am willing to let people in my day to day life call me by whatever endearment they see fit. But there is an uncomfortable edge of condescension, the sensation that one is lesser than, of belittlement that stings when a customer calls me "honey". It demeans me, my work, and my skills. It is taking liberties. Save endearments for times when I'm not working; let me do my job with the same respect and courtesy that I show you.
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